Given that there is already a somewhat ad hoc international code of conduct for Santa Claus “impersonators” throughout the world this Christmas / Holiday Season, is it right for Santa to “preach” to kids?
By: Vanessa Uy
The ad hoc international code of conduct for Santa Claus “impersonators” concentrate on the maintenance of proper attire; the red wardrobe should be spot on and not tattered. The white wig and "fake" beard should be on straight. No drinking on duty because - a toddy and the occasional cup of cheer - on every household Santa visits can add up to certain inebriation. Plus, given the egalitarian nature of today’s society, Santa Claus should be able to say hello and Merry Christmas in at least 10 languages. But when it comes to preaching – especially when pertaining to kids with unattainable gift issues (World Peace?) and telling kids with bedwetting problems to just quit it – raises issues that are not so easy to resolve. Parents should have the wisdom to be accepting of their kid’s “frailties”.
Given that a majority of conservative Christians want to maintain the Nativity of Jesus Christ as the “Be all and the end all” of Christmas. Santa Claus and his primarily gift giving / cheer spreading role – if extended to the “nanny” / parenting role – might be found wanting. Santa Claus / Saint Nick / Father Christmas has always served a secondary role to the birth of Jesus during the Christmas Season. Shouldn’t skillful relegation of duty be applicable here? Remember folks, Santa Claus is not your child’s parent.
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Here's a list of Santa Claus "Code of Conduct" posted on Broowaha. Though it might only apply to US major cities:
1. Play the part 100% when roleplaying Santa Claus.
2. Learn your "Ho, Ho, Ho's". Lameness is a sin in this department.
3. Control your beard. Buy the best one you can afford.
4. Don't skimp on the costume.
5. Don't get hammered - i.e. imbibed, inebriated or stoned - as all paying jobs demands.
6. No lap dances. Keep adults - especially sexy women - off your lap.
7. Do your research. Be prepared to answer when kids ask: "What does being bad mean?" Or that newfangled one: " Are you from Kyrgyzstan?"
8. Bring a towel. Some kid might make wee wee on your lap.
9. Have a Mrs. Claus to help you - or a "Santa Squire".
10. Be prepared to hand out "Tough Love" when necessary. Especially when unrully teens try to insult you in an inane attempt to be cool.
The laguage fluency aspect probably applies to Santa's working in Seattle or other egalitarian regions of America.
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