Santa Winter Games: Santa Claus Olympics?

Even though the sporting event is barely over a decade in existence, has the Santa Winter Games “improved” the image of the global Santa Claus Industry? 

By: Ringo Bones 

First started in 2003, the Santa Winter Games has more or less served to improve the “athletic” aspects of being the designated Santa Claus during the Holiday Season. As it has been seen as a “friendly athletic competition” between Santa Claus impersonators from all over the world, the Santa Winter Games has more or less served to improve the apparent “athleticism” of a Yuletide character originally envisioned by Thomas Nast to boost the morale of then U.S. President Abraham Lincoln’s Union troops during the American Civil War. But does the world need another “Santa Claus Convention”? 

Maybe it should have been called the World Santa Claus Olympics given that chimney climbing event has been seen by the event’s loyal spectators as the be-all-end-all of the Santa Winter Games. On the bright side, the past winners of the event had been an eclectic mix of every Santa Claus from all over the world. Recent winners include the 2010 Santa Winter Games champion Santa Camilo Romero Correa from Colombia. Not to mention 2011 winner, Sana Stefan Veronde from Holland and 2013 winner Santa Banana from Hong Kong who works as a professional magician during the rest of the year. 

The 2014 Santa Winter Games was held last November 22 in the mining town of Gällivare in the Swedish section of Lapland. The 2014 Santa Winter Games winner was a Japanese Santa Claus named Santa Yamashita, second place was Santa Sunny from Hong Kong and the third place winner was Santa Glenn Swift from Australia, while the people’s choice winner was Santa Jim from The People’s Republic of China. The Santa Winter Games has more-or-less added athletic meritocracy to the category on evaluating who is the world’s best Santa Claus impersonator. 

Did Jesus Christ Smoke Marijuana?

Though it is still a subject that Giorgio A. Tsoukalos and the rest of the Ancient Aliens probably still won’t tough even with a 10-foot pole, is there any credence to the “rumors” that Jesus of Nazareth's marijuana use?

By: Ringo Bones 

The implication that Jesus of Nazareth might have used marijuana probably started on that 1988 move The Last Temptation of Christ where John the Baptists’ “band of hippy followers” seem to appear to be strung out on marijuana – and don’t forget that since the years after Bob Marley’s June 7, 1980 Crystal Palace Water Contert, it seems that every self-styled Rastafarian “high-priest” who’s ever been to that iconic concert date had since made sacrosance that John the Baptist was one of the founding fathers of Rastafarianism and did indeed taught Jesus Christ to use marijuana besides the banks of the Jordan River in preparation of the “Baptism” of the iconic Nazarene over 2,000 years ago. 

Though the popularity of The Last Temptation of Christ was primarily due to iconic actor Robert De Niro turing down the role of Jesus Christ (a role that eventually went to Willem Dafoe) in which in an interview, De Niro jokingly said “Jesus didn’t speak with a Brooklyn accent”, it seems that this move is the primary “evidence” oft used to imply that Jesus Christ smoked marijuana. But is is the only oft used proof to lend the credence that Jesus of Nazareth used cannablis? Well, it does make for a very interesting World 440 celebration this 2014. 

Ever since the legalization of medical marijuana in some parts of the United States and some more liberal parts of the rest of the world, many “medical marijuana experts” cite as proof the healing effects of marijuana the apparent “miraculous” resurrection of Jesus Christ after the Crucifixion – not to mention the serious physical castigation under Pontius Pilate's and the top Jewish Pharisee’s orders done before the Crucifixion.  

Was Jesus Christ From Outer Space?

Besides the insistent ramblings of Ancient Aliens regular Giorgio A. Tsoukalos about the extraterrestrial origins of Ancient Greek and Roman theology, is there credence that Jesus of Nazareth is an extraterrestrial? 

By:Ringo Bones

Ancient Aliens regular Giorgio A . Tsoukalos insistent ramblings about the “extraterrestrial origins” of Ancient Greek and Roman belief systems could probably fill a 30-volume encyclopedia sized series of books – or even more – is there any credence to the implication that Jesus Christ of Nazareth came from outer space? After all, a comedy skit on the first season Christmas / Holiday episode of That 70s Show "implying" that Jesus Christ had extraterrestrial origins seems a tad believable like that of the “ancient astronaut theories” of Erich von Däniken, but is it all just “liberal intellectual hogwash”? 

Though it is quite strange that leading proponents of the “Ancient Astronaut Theory” often imply that Ancient Greek, Roman and other pre-Abrahamic belief systems in the Persian Gulf region probably has extraterrestrial origins as they are “probably” bequeathed to us by extraterrestrial beings with technological ability of interstellar travel, they only imply in the vaguest of terms that Jesus of Nazareth is a product of extraterrestrial in-vitro fertilization on some reasonably attractive 14-year-old Palestinian girl 2,000 years ago. But the argument provided by Ancient Astronaut Theorists seems more plausible – as it seems – from writings left by Abrahamic prophets probably strung out on cannabis centuries ago. Well, imagine if Tsoukalos started to blame aliens / extraterrestrials for the recent "priestly paedophilia" of Catholic priest, would that particular Ancient Aliens episode be titled "Anal Probe: Anal Sex?"